Saturday 17 August 2013

The Greatest Gift

Today marks the 4 year anniversary of my dad's passing. Even though we remember him in a special way on this day, there's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him. He continues to impact my life in countless ways. As I reflect on what he left behind, there is always one thing that comes to mind- the great gift for which I am most thankful. 

I have only a few of possessions from my dad. A ring, annual pajamas, an obsolete discman I can't bring myself to get rid of, and an old spiritual journal of his that I cherish. I have few things I inherited from him- my love of basketball and my stubbornness, I'm sure among many other things. 

In the midst of all of those little "gifts," the one for which I'm most thankful is the fact that He always pointed me to the One who would always be there. 

I remember as a teenager, seeking out his advice. It always began with, "The Bible says..." Or, "Turn to...." Of course, I always sighed, probably disgruntled because I was usually looking for a quicker fix or his opinion but I rarely found it. He was always showing me the One who would always be there. I can't even pinpoint any times where he gave me his own personal advice on a matter, with the exception, of course, of the basketball court in which he was more than willing to lavish his expertise on me at any time!

He was an amazing dad and because of that, he was always needed and now, is consequently missed. 

But the One to whom he always pointed is still here. I can imagine he probably counted on being around longer than 61 years, but in that time, never missed an opportunity to point me toward Jesus Christ. 

In his absence is still God's presence, and because of that, I still have what I need. 

Now I'm both a child and a parent. As I ponder the task of trying to do the same for my own children, I of course desire to be the best mom I can be and do everything I can for their well-being. In the midst of that, I must remember that there is only one guarantee for them in this life, and it's not me. 

I must continually point those around me to Christ. I am, like my dad, a limited human being operating on the grace of God for a temporary amount of time. Life here is so short in the grand scheme of things. Those around me don't most need me. 

They most need and must depend on the Only One who can and will always be there, who has the answer to everything and knows what the future holds. He is our only guarantee. 

I'm thankful everyday for my wonderful dad and the time we had. I've extremely thankful that He taught me to look to God, who would be around even after he was not.   

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Friday 2 August 2013

Learning to Walk

There have been countless moments of joy over the past year, watching my little girl transform from a newborn baby to a hilarious, personality filled, and toddling little sponge. One of the great privileges of being her mom has been watching her learn how to walk.

Who knew that so much could
change so quickly?
It’s amazing to think that in a just a short year, she’s gone from laying around sleeping, to rolling over, to sitting, to pulling herself up, to standing, to walking along furniture, to walking finally walking on her own. The year passed so quickly that it’s difficult to pinpoint when exactly change happened. I know for certain that I marvel at how far she’s come and how quickly she’s learned.

When she first showed an interest in standing, we thought for sure she’d skip crawling and go straight to walking. She loved to be on her feet, but she fooled us a bit. It ended up being quite a bit longer between when she looked as though she was ready, and when she truly was ready to take those first steps on her own. She spent a few months just standing, tightly gripping whatever would help her keep her balance as she was taking in the world from this new perspective. She would go back and forth between crawling, as if she felt it were the safer option than to risk falling.

I can just imagine her thinking, the
view from up here is way better!
As you well know, when a baby is learning to walk, isn’t without its share of stumbles. When Sophie took her first steps, she was very unstable. She would often rock from side to side and then often lose her balance in slow motion. She wasn’t a very graceful faller either as she often resembled a towering tree rather than a tumbling toddler. It was some time before she even learned to fall “properly” as in realized her knees could actually bend and her hands out to shield her head and face from taking the brunt of the fall.

I knew learning to walk was going to be a bit of a process, and of course, there was going to be some days of bad tumbles alongside the days of small victories. I can remember a few particularly bad falls. Many of them were followed by piercing screams of pain and a few days of sporting a nice bruise, scab or road rash somewhere on her face.  

As her mom, I knew that falling was a painful yet inevitable part of the journey of looking to walk. My hope was that the small tumbles didn’t cause any permanent damage and of course, didn't discourage her from getting back up and trying again. Each time she took a little tumble, her dad or I would lift her back to her feet, shorten the distance that needed to be traveled and encourage her like crazy to try again.

The day my friend said, I
would call that walking!
(Not that you can tell
from this picture!)
It’s funny that how a baby learns to walk is quite different than how we teach “grown-ups.”  I didn’t sit down with Sophie and explain to her the biomechanics of taking a right step, a left and then how to put them together while also considering the equilibrium of balancing and centre of gravity. I didn’t expect her to understand and implement those ridiculous and non-existent instructions immediately. She wasn’t going to fully understand the process before starting out. I simply watched for signs that she was ready, and then cheered her on as she braved the next step.

It’s easy for those who’ve been on a walk with God for a while to forget the challenges that accompany someone who is just learning. As you mature, walking becomes very natural and on an ordinary day, is not something that is likely to cause you to stumble.

We don’t remember what it was like to be 1 and how it felt to discover only by experience, the uneven ground that will easily trip you up, the center of gravity that is required to stay between your feet, or the difficulty of the simple task of putting one foot in front of the other.

Still hanging on, but not
willing to take a seat in
order to have a drink!
How foolish it would’ve been if Sophie’s stumbles were met with a lecture or a scolding about how she should have gotten it by now, or how it really wasn’t that complicated to walk, she should just do it. That approach wouldn’t help her get back on her feet and learn to do it any faster. Unfortunately, that can be the approach we take without realizing it when we're dealing with spiritual walking. 

My priority was that no matter how many times it took, that she would get back up and continue trying and making progress until she got it.

As I watched my precious girl learn to take her first steps, God was teaching me something about how He has called me to walk with those who are learning, whether they’re learning to walk by faith, walk in freedom, or walk alongside someone else. No matter what kind of walk, God desires to meet the various challenges with His unchanging truth coated in grace.

Walking. It sounds simple right? I'll let you in on a little not-so-rocket-science secret. Much of it has to do with keeping your eyes on the prize. 

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2)

I’m feeling like this may be the start of some sort of “series” but I don’t know how many parts it will have or how long between posts. I do know that God has changed the way that I walk over the past year and has given me a desire to share it. I tried to sit down and outline how many parts and titles, and then a couple of weeks had passed. I thought, I should just take my own advice and just make a little imperfect progress as I try to follow His lead.